Love and War by Hudson Max

Author:Hudson, Max [Hudson, Max]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-02-19T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Four

I wake the next morning in a state of bliss. Blaine stayed all night, cooked me dinner and we drank wine and talked until almost three in the morning. My God, why was I so afraid of this? What harm are we doing to anyone? We are both grown men and we know exactly what we want. Who are we hurting, who are we offending by what we did last night? No-one knows, and no-one will ever know, so what is the harm? Why are so many men arrested and imprisoned every year for loving who they love?

Blaine stirs in the bed beside me, rolling over and pulling me close. Is this what it feels like to be loved? That even when they are asleep, unconscious and dreaming dreams you can’t even imagine, their body still recognizes your presence. Their body still says ‘I want you close to me.’ And you know that they do, because they have no control over it. My God, why can’t we just stay here all day, every day?

I dreamed of us last night, standing at the Pearly Gates, in front of God. But he wasn’t angry or upset. He hugged us both, and simply said “Thank goodness you two found each other. I’ve been waiting thousands of years for you to meet.” I don’t know how Blaine feels about God, or morality, or where we go after we die. I don’t know how he feels about what we did last night, or if he’s angry at himself for giving in, or disappointed, or frustrated or…

“Good morning Charlie…” His deep coffee eyes are open, still groggy from sleep. He yawns, stretching, and twisting his body, before it finally comes to rest with an arm draped over my shoulder. How could I ever have resisted him?

“You did some great work last night…” He chuckles, gazing me up and down. “You may not even have to continue coming for our appointments, but I would very much like to continue our ‘private’ sessions, if that would be okay with you?”

His deep laugh, one that previously shook me to the core, lights a fire in my soul.

“Is that all I am to you, Blaine?” I ask, mock-hurt. “Nothing more than an every-day run of the mill patient?”

“You, Charlie, are mon amour. You always will be. From this day forward, if you’ll have me. Je t’aime, Charlie.” He chortles, and rolls over, sweeping me up into a longing, loving embrace and planting a wet kiss of morning breath on my mouth. I don’t care, I’d take Blaine’s morning breath any day over waking up to yet another day in this hateful, blasted world alone. We could all be wiped out tomorrow. I for one, fully plan to take each and every opportunity that comes my way. I love Blaine and nothing will stop me.

“Would you like some breakfast, mon amour?” My breath catches as I hear him say those words. My French language skills have suffered greatly from my school days, but I know enough to know exactly what he’s saying.

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